STEP 16 - Who are Your Priorities?
- Ramona H.
- May 29, 2024
- 8 min read
Updated: Sep 17, 2024
Our first priority should be a personal relationship with our Heavenly Father.
It is a solid foundation for building any other relationship.
Communicate with Him the moment you wake up and throughout the day, ending it with thankfulness no matter what happened because no weapon formed against us will prosper unless we allow it.
Listen to the Holy Spirit (our comforter) and acknowledge all things that he’s brought to your attention on this day which can teach you to listen more and speak less.
Don’t take for granted the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross, dying for our sins in order for us to have full access to His benefits, His inheritance, as His child.
Embrace joy as you receive another beautiful day filled with plenty of opportunity to show unconditional grace, patience and love.
If you want to know what is expected of you in any relationship, start with the area’s that you’ve noticed currently lack within your closest relationships. Starting there can open other doors of knowledge and allow you to gracefully enter. You can’t say you weren’t taught how to treat someone since the greatest teacher is lack.
Lack is similar to an orchestrator of music.
Lack knows what is missing the moment sound is heard and can direct you to the right tone.
You may struggle to find balance because you are looking in the wrong direction, you are looking at others and not yourself. Things that keep you off balance are the tools that can be used in providing balance.
Lack is not always a negative thing, it leads to the path of growth, happiness in yourself and the desire to continue to take responsibility of your contributions or lack thereof and it allows you to become excited with the increase of wisdom gained throughout the process, and that’s a win!
Now adays we have everything at our fingertips, we can search online, study, read, listen or even post a question on how to have a successful relationship?
We must still put in the effort to seek and find the path in Him, in His word; every situation in this life can be found in His word; there is nothing new under the sun, nothing, not one thing!
A relationship with God is the best teacher and will guide you on how to have a successful relationship with anyone. When you understand the benefits of how important it is to build that closeness with Him prior to any other relationship since He knows YOU best!
That’s a sign you’re ready to start building a solid foundation for your person and that doesn’t mean only financially, it covers mental, social, emotional…the list depends on each person.
God will show you areas that need to be worked on, including your areas of strength. He’ll also give you other keys during your growth journey that opens doors leading to additional knowledge, wisdom and unconditional everything.
As a single person, a relationship with the Lord is vital, it’s the first true love that will provide tools to help you build a strong, solid foundation prior to building a relationship with your future spouse.
He will cause toxins deep within you to surface so you are able to let them go, clear the space for unconditionals and lighten the baggage you’ll bring on your next relationship trip.
Everyone has baggage and sometimes it contains things that shouldn’t ever be worn, again, it should have been tossed away many, many years ago. Sometimes we over pack out of fear, we think there won’t be enough options to select from. We are unable to fit new relationship pieces in our baggage and wonder why we experience conflict early in our new relationship.
Turn the mirror around and ask yourself what items should you discard from within your baggage?
Did you know that each person we are intimate with leaves a piece of themselves within us and it's not guaranteed to be a positive imprint on our heart, remember, for some reason you are no longer with that person. The most intimate relationship you will ever have before marriage especially if you want a successful marriage starts with those foundational pieces Gods word provides.
Why? Because you will learn how to be committed, honest, dependable, consistent, reliable and in speaking words of truth with patience, understanding and grace.
You will learn the importance of your words, the tone and the impact they’ll have once spoken, knowing that negative words are seeds that build up walls and chip away at the positive parts of your relationships foundation without you even knowing it and then one day you wake up and wonder what happened?
Having a relationship with the Lord first will also teach and builds your faith so that no weapon (life situation) formed against you will prosper unless you give it access. You’re able to see and hear the results gained from reading and believing His word.
I’m firm believer that you don’t have to test drive a car. You should know the brand, do the research and review what others share about that type of car.
The dealer is held accountable to a certain degree and the percentage of getting a lemon is low.
Once you’ve purchased the car, issues will, not may but will arise immediately or months later and that’s with every car; nothing is guaranteed to be perfect even when purchasing a new car.
Expectations to consider after purchasing a car.
You’ll need gas, steering fluid and oil and to maintain it, you’ll need to upkeep the tires, windshield wipers, tune-ups, brakes, etc., you get the picture.
Now parallel the above paragraph with a relationship in mind.
I’m firm believer that you don’t have to test drive your mate.
If they are a believer, seeking God and having a personal relationship with the Lord, and you’ve confirmed by researching and reviewing their character according to the Word and spent time around their closets family members so you can see the interactions through good and bad times, you’ve done well but it doesn’t full proof your relationship with them.
The information shared is held accountable to a certain degree and the percentage of getting a lemon is low.
Now once you signed on to be in a relationship with them, issues will arise and that’s with every relationship (at any stage); nothing is guaranteed to be perfect and in time, as you put in the work, we become perfect for “each other,” not perfect for the world.
Expectations to consider after starting a relationship.
Mandatory to show love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control along with tons of unconditional love, these are needed to maintain a healthy relationship. And in order to maintain it, be calm in your communication, reinforce love through verbal, physical and emotional actions, be honest, dependable etc., you get the picture and for each couple the list is slightly different.
Most people will tell you to make sure whoever you are dating has a solid job, test drive all areas before committing and ask questions about their past before making a commitment. It’s not necessary; people lose their jobs and may not bounce back quickly for whatever reason or they’re ready for a career change which could take time. Also, who they were 5 years ago could be different. Test driving doesn’t guarantee it will run the same way in 5 -10 years, 30 years or even 6 months…no guarantee, so why test drive?
Why continue to give another person pieces of your intimate fabric just to find out they are not in a place to match your needs.
Then you wonder why there’s so much mental struggles, our bodily system is confused, it is containing more than it was created to contain. Each time you test drive, it adds baggage for each passenger that rode with you. You walk away so heavy in all aspects of who you are.
Trust God, communicate your needs and desires and know that even those areas will change for both persons, but the bottom line is to love unconditionally and be committed. It reminds us that no one is perfect, and we should base our thoughts and decisions on the intent of a person’s heart and not solely on their action since we make unintentional mistakes from time to time.
If you are single and looking for love; first date God. This allows you to learn and build a strong foundation for your future spouse. Listen to the Holy Spirit, work on all the plank in your eye versus focusing on your mates’ spec.
Do you see any red flags?
Sometimes we turn away from the red flags that clearly are waving in our face. We become so tired and start to settle by overlooking them and telling ourselves they are white flags. No, no, no, red is red and listen to your heart otherwise the consequences will hurt more than walking away from toxic person.
Can’t blame the devil for everything and we shouldn’t blame God at all…take responsibility for your choices, actions and consequences that proceed.
For those married with or without children, our first priority is the immediate family, not church, not your education, job or career, not your hobbies or your best friends, not even your parents, siblings or significant family members. When you take care of God’s family in the proper order, you eliminate a lot of confusion and create healthy boundaries for everyone. Our Heavenly Father will always take care of all our needs.
Fear and lack of time will cause us to make decisions independently and not seek His directions. We should not worry about tomorrow, what we will eat, drink, wear or even where we should work or live. God wants us to enjoy today because tomorrow we’ll have a new set of tasks, concerns, goals and victories.
Putting worldly tasks or goals that are not in an order that considers your immediate family will slowly break up your foundation, creating cracks and that’s when the enemy starts to battle our beliefs and cause doubt that the Lord will not take care of His children.
I encourage you to always seek God first, through His word, never feel rushed or pressured in any choices, this is your life, your future.
If you find yourself rushing out of fear, don’t worry, time after time, you’ll get frustrated enough and start to be more pro-active in your choices, it’s a learning curve worth experiencing.
You can’t build a solid foundation with broken pieces of your heart. Allow Him to heal those areas before starting any committed relationship.
Consider counseling, it’s a step in the right direction. Don’t give up if the first few counselors don’t fit your need, keep trying until you find that person; it makes a big difference.
And in doing so, you’re learning to choose your partner with patience and grace as you did in finding your counselor.
God’s word has so many gems, learn and implement them into your life; here are a few.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.
Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Proverbs 28:25-26
A greedy man stirs up strife, but the one who trusts in the Lord will be enriched. Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.
Romans 12:10
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
1 Corinthians 11:3
But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
If you are not a Christian, consider giving your life to Christ today; don’t let another day go by, we are not promised tomorrow.
Disclaimer - I do not own the rights to this song; music is a form of worship that brings unity, peace and unconditional love.
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